C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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