There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
