Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
