Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
