i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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