That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
