Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
there is puke in my bra ... again
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