dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
