what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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