my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
tell your sister to shave her snatch
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
