I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
