Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
