So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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