Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
