So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
