is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
handjob tips. give me some.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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