Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
