Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
