there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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