I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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