OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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