Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
