I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
