The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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