I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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