Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
