she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
