Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
