Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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