we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize