He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
