we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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