We named our party play list daddy issues
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
