she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
