no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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