Just fell off a train. Bad.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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