There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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