i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
