Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just pee around me
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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