I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
