just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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