I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
