I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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