Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
