garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
