I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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