no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize