So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
two words...techno handjob
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
