i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
