drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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