i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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