Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize