Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
