i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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