my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
