I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize