Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just fell off a train. Bad.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
