is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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