have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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